I'm not sure what I thought this was going to go. For one thing, I had depression. I had depression before I was a mom, even before I was a mommy-to-be. I thought, well I might have postpartum depression, but it will be my depression plus a baby. That's do-able.
That's not do-able. Postpartum Depression is the shittiest thing my mind has ever come up with. I had very little energy, and a baby that needed all of it. Nights, in the beginning, were hell, so I slept whenever was possible. As BB got bigger, he still needed energy. He needed a responsible parent who somehow could convey that he was loved no matter what, and he needed to be fed REAL FOOD, and he needed friends.
Where the hell was I going to find time to write a blog? As soon as he went to sleep, I went to sleep. I was messing around with different medicines to try to control my depression and anxiety and insomnia, so my already low energy reserves was going toward keeping my head above water, whilst making sure my husband felt he was getting attention and my child was growing into a normal, non-evil BB.
And now, 3...years...later...
I want to put a goal down. Something I feel I can keep. Something that will make this blog seem useful instead of a waste of whatever time I, and you, have.
That goal is once a week. One post. My thoughts and experiences with mental illness, child-rearing, married life, and spirituality. Yep, that last word was indeed "SPIRITUALITY". Let's get crazy up in here!
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